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Recent Blog Posts
Can Christmas Gifts Replace Child Support Payments?
The purpose of child support is to help the primary residential parent of a child or children to be able to afford basic necessities such as rent or mortgage payments, the child’s clothing, school supplies, and their meals. Those who receive child support often depend on that extra income in order to pay their bills and maintain a good quality of life for their children. For some parents, a missed payment here and there will not cause a major financial crisis. For others living on a tight budget, a missed child support payment can be devastating. During the holidays, many parents rush to the stores to buy their children Christmas gifts. However, it is important to note that the money spent on children’s Christmas gifts cannot count toward child support payments.
Changes to Child Support in Illinois
Recently, several major changes were made to the way Illinois courts calculate child support. The amount of child support that is awarded to a parent is now based on an “income shares” or “shared parenting” model. The incomes of both parents are now taken into account, rather than solely that of the paying parent. The new model also takes into consideration how much time the parents each spend with their children on an overnight basis. This is intended to help alleviate the child support costs for those parents who also spend money on their children during their parenting time. The new model is based on three main factors: the estimated total amount of money needed to raise the child, extra costs that a parent may encounter such as expenses for health care, education, and after-school activities, and the amount of overnights the child spends with each parent.
Does It Matter Who Files for Divorce First?
Marriages end in many different ways. Sometimes both spouses know that they no longer wish to be married and make the joint decision to get a divorce. Other times, one spouse announces that they want a divorce to the complete shock and dismay of the other spouse. Perhaps most commonly, a couple knows that their marriage is not doing well for months or even years before taking legal action. Both spouses hesitate to make the first move legally because they are unsure of how to even begin. They may try to hold on as long as possible before making the move to file for divorce. If you are considering divorce, you may wonder if it matters who actually files for divorce first. The answer is not simple, and there are a few factors to consider.
The Advantages of Filing First
It is important to understand that there are no real legal benefits to filing for divorce before your spouse does. During the proceedings, both you and your spouse will be subject to the same standards and have equal opportunities to make your cases to the court.
Preparation Can Facilitate a More Efficient Divorce
Divorce is an intensely personal process that is often fraught with many challenges and difficulties. Many relationship experts suggest that divorce is the second most stressful event a person is likely to experience—only the death of a spouse is usually considered to be more stressful. Ending a marriage, however, does not always need to be turbulent and filled with acrimony. There are some practical things that you can do in advance that can make your divorce a little easier.
Know What You Have
It is not unusual for people to take their assets and property for granted. For example, you may realize that you and your spouse own your home and your vehicles, but you may also have investments that you have not thought about in years. Alternatively, many people do not realize the full value of things they own. Your collection of baseball cards or porcelain dolls may be important to you for sentimental reasons, but they may also be worth a substantial amount of money if you were to sell them.
The Right of First Refusal in an Illinois Parenting Plan
If you are a divorced parent, you may find it very tough to pursue your own personal interests and hobbies. Between work and providing for your children, it might be nearly impossible to find time to travel, meet with friends, or participate in fun activities. It is important to develop an identity apart from being a parent as doing so is crucial to your psychological and emotional health. One of the biggest challenges that you are likely to face as a divorced parent is finding a sitter to care for your child when you need it. Depending on your situation, however, your parenting plan may require you to call your child’s other parent first.
What is the Right of First Refusal?
According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, a divorced or unmarried couple’s parenting plan may grant what is known as the “right of first refusal” to one or both parents. The right of first refusal essentially gives a parent “first dibs” on the opportunity to care for the child if the other parent needs alternative childcare during his or her normal parenting time. This may seem rather complicated, but it is actually quite simple in practice.
Actor Feared Coming Forward With Sexual Harassment Claims
Sexual harassment and sexual violence have been present for long as humans have had societies, though the issues have not always been discussed publicly. Many people point to the allegations made by Anita Hill against then-Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas in 1991 as the beginning of the public battle against sexual harassment. In recent months, the war has been reignited with great fervor as countless high-profile individuals have been accused of sexual harassment, sexual assault, and other forms of sexual misbehavior.
Perhaps the most common response to each new allegation that comes out is a question: why did the victim wait so long to come forward? If the abuser’s actions were brought to light sooner, they could have been dealt with sooner. Coming forward with allegations of harassment, however, is often the most difficult thing a victim will ever have to do—especially for women who have been the victims of male abusers.
Star’s Tweet Reignites #MeToo Movement
According to a recent study by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, up to 95 percent of workplace sexual harassment victims never file a formal complaint. Considering that thousands of formal complaints are filed every year, this means countless other victims suffer silently. If that number sounds outrageously high, take a look at the posts that have been flooding Twitter, Facebook, and other social media outlets in recent weeks. Chances are good that you will find countless examples of sexual harassment and assault that have gone unreported before now—many of them from family members and others in your social circles.
Such posts were prompted, in large part, by a single tweet from actress Alyssa Milano who expressed her feelings in the wake of accusations against famed film producer Harvey Weinstein. In her Twitter post, Milano encouraged women who have been sexually assaulted or harassed to reply, “Me too.” Within hours, the responses began to flood social media, and Milano herself replied to her own post with a “Me too.” Women from all walks of life—including numerous other high-profile actresses and entertainers—started sharing their stories of sexual harassment, most of them marked with the trend-tracking hashtag #MeToo.
Shared Parenting Best for Children of Divorce
Divorce is not an entirely new phenomenon but it has certainly become more socially acceptable and widespread over the last 40 or so years. As divorce became more commonplace in the 1970s and 80s, a divorcing couples’ children were generally left under the care of their mothers. Divorced dads, by and large, seemed to be less important—with the exception of child support—in the bigger picture of raising the children.
In many ways, this custom was a reflection of the cultural belief that mothers were more nurturing and more inclined to raise children properly compared to fathers. While fathers were given occasional “visits” with their children, it was difficult for men to foster true parent-child relationships with their sons and daughters. In fact, many were more like an uncle figure or family friend than a dad.
New Understandings
Can I Spend Child Support Money Any Way I Want?
If you receive child support payments, the presumption exists that you will use that money to buy things that promote your child’s well-being. Defining what those things are, however, can be difficult. The law in Illinois provides some guidance regarding what child support payments should be used for, but such decisions are usually left entirely up to the recipient parent.
Illinois Law
The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act states that both parents are responsible for contributing toward meeting the “reasonable and necessary educational, physical, mental, and emotional needs of the child.” The parent granted a majority of the parenting time fulfills a portion of this responsibility by providing the child with his or her primary home and daily basic needs. The other parent, therefore, will usually be required to make child support payments based on the income of both parents and the number of children being supported.
Parents of Teen Girls Could Be More Likely to Divorce
Countless factors could contribute to a couple’s decision to end their marriage and seek a divorce. Such factors may include differing views on money, a breakdown in communication, unrealistic expectations, and infidelity. Relationship experts have long recognized that having children can also affect the stability of a marriage. Many couples find that adding children ultimately makes their marriage stronger while others are driven to the point of divorce. While there is no way to know for sure what children will do to your marriage, a recent study suggests that having a first-born girl could increase your chances of divorce.
Different Studies, Different Results
Several research projects over the last few years have looked at the possible link between marital happiness and a child’s gender. A few conducted in the United States have found that parents who had girls first were more likely to divorce than those with first-born boys. Other American studies challenged such findings, but until now, there has been very little research done into how girls affect their parents’ marriages.
Divorce May Run in Your Family
Genetics play a large role in our physical appearance, our health, and many other aspects of our lives. Of course, so does the environment in which we live. For decades—if not longer—researchers have been exploring the impact of what is colloquially known as “nature vs. nurture” on a wide variety of human behaviors. Forming healthy interpersonal relationships would seem to fall into the category of learned behaviors—or nurture—but new evidence suggests that genetics may have an effect as well. Divorce, it appears, may be genetic and runs in families as a result.
A New Look
Researchers from Virginia Commonwealth University collaborated with a team from Lund University in Sweden on a project that examined the relationships of adopted children, their adoptive parents, and their biological parents. The study looked to test the widely held belief that children of divorced parents are more likely to divorce simply because that is what they know and are conditioned to see as normal.