How Do We Tell Our Children About Our Divorce in Illinois?

DuPage County Divorce Attorneys Share on How to Break Difficult News To Children

Deciding how and when to tell your children about your divorce can be tough if you and your spouse do not execute it with a fair amount of planning. Every situation is different, but ideally, the best approach is to give this information through a united front. While you and your spouse may not be on the same page about many of the issues in your divorce, you will hopefully be able to agree that you will do your best to protect your children and help them get through this process as well as possible.

At Mirabella, Kincaid, Frederick & Mirabella, LLC, we can provide you with dedicated representation during your divorce, ensuring that you will be able to make the right decisions as you address issues related to child custody. We will advise you on the best ways to approach different child-related issues, and we will help you focus on your children's best interests as you and your spouse negotiate a parenting plan that addresses the allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time, child support, and other related issues.

Talking About Divorce With Children

It may not always be possible to discuss your divorce with your children with your spouse at your side, but that is what is recommended. This way, you can both assure your child that they are still going to be loved and cared for, and you can let them know that they can lean on you for support during the changes they are about to go through. If you can, choose your timing carefully and keep everything you are saying to your child about the divorce simple.

Your child may have a friend to talk to who has parents who have gone through a divorce. This can help them understand what is going to be ahead of them. They may also be able to discuss your divorce with other trusted people, such as extended family members or child therapists. However, you should try to plan to answer any and all questions your children may have. Prepare yourself for how they could react. Some children instantly show their sadness or anger, while other children hold in their feelings. Letting them know that they can express their emotions to you, ask questions, and raise concerns will ensure that you can maintain good relationships with them going forward.

During your discussions, you should avoid the blame game or any forms of conflict between you and your spouse. Instead of focusing on your marital issues, make it about your child and their needs. If your marriage is completely over, then be sure to tell them that and be consistent. Some children may be convinced their parents will get back together when that may not be a possibility. It is also important to make sure your children understand that the divorce is not their fault, and you will want to reassure them that both of you will always love them and be there for them.

Contact Our Wheaton Divorce and Child Custody Lawyers

At Mirabella, Kincaid, Frederick & Mirabella, LLC, we understand that telling your children about your divorce is hard. We have been helping families through these tough times for decades. For more advice or information on subjects related to divorce or child custody, please contact us for an initial consultation. Call 630-665-7300 to speak with our DuPage County attorneys. Our office is located in Wheaton, Illinois, and we have assisted clients in other neighboring counties, including Kane County and Kendall County.