Consider Your Reasons for Wanting a Divorce

 Posted on October 05, 2018 in Kane

For most couples who have gone through a divorce, there was probably not a single moment that suddenly clarified their decision to end the marriage. It, more likely, was the combination of many factors that ultimately led to the split. In many cases, spouses begin to think about divorce long before it ever becomes a reality, and often ask themselves similar questions.

Before contacting a divorce attorney, you should be able to clearly address, at least in your own mind:

Do You Want a Better Marriage?

Or, do you just want out? You may recognize serious problems in your relationship, but that does not necessarily mean that you no longer want to be with your spouse. If you can identify particular areas of concern, working on your marriage may be an option. Conversely, you may be ready to be done with your spouse, realizing that your relationship is not healthy for either of you.

What Have You Added to the Problems?

It is very easy to look at your spouse and see all things that he or she does that make you angry. Looking in the mirror and recognizing your own issues is often much more difficult. Are they traits you can change about yourself to help improve the situation? If so, are you willing to do that to save your marriage?

Have You Given Real Effort?

Most people who reach the divorce stage will claim they have tried everything. While this may be true in some cases, it is often said simply to assuage the negative feelings of ending the relationship. Nobody can force you to work on your marriage, but if you jump right to divorce, will you regret not having tried a little harder? Fixing a broken marriage, of course, is not easy, but you need to be clear with yourself whether it is worth trying.

Did You Set the Bar Too High?

Everyone dreams of the “happily ever after” marriage, where life is easy, children do what they are told, and money is never a concern. While your real-life expectations were probably somewhat more realistic, how realistic are they? Do you expect your spouse to behave in a way that is not compatible with the person you know him or her to be? Do you have similar expectations about yourself? If your standards for a happy marriage are impossibly high, you will never be satisfied in your relationship. 

Do You Have Your Eye on Another?

Physical and emotional cheating can certainly take its toll on any marriage. Even if you have not done anything inappropriate, are you considering a divorce because you are interested in pursuing a relationship with someone else? A new relationship is fun and exciting, making marriage look old and stale by comparison. Are you truly done loving your spouse or are you just bored?

Of course, there are dozens of similar questions that could help you clarify whether you are ready to seriously consider divorce. For guidance along the way, contact an experienced Kane County divorce attorney. We can help you better understand if divorce is the right choice for you and your family. Call 630-549-0960 to schedule a confidential consultation today.

Sources:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/winifred-m-reilly/9-crucial-questions-to-as_b_5174537.html

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/04/12/are-you-ready-for-divorce-7-questions-to-ask-yourself/